Embarking on the winding road of dual identity as a Lao American isn't just a narrative; it's a raw, unfiltered exploration of self, a tale of balancing traditions, language, and the undeniable pull of two distinct cultures.

I am Lao-American. My family fled the motherland in spite of the Secret War during the 70’s. As I’ve grown older, I struggled finding my tight niche- a sense of belonging and acceptance as a Lao individual in the United States.

The intersection of cultures

I remember in elementary school, I was always asked by classmates, “what are you?” There was always prejudice since I was one of the very few Asian peers and the only Lao person at my school. I never felt accepted, and even when I befriended others, I always thought they were superior to me. I thought to myself, “I don’t enjoy being different”. I oftentimes felt discouraged to bring mom and dad’s home cooked dishes to lunch the next days. I would sometimes hide my Buddha necklace underneath my clothing. Although I was a kid, I silently embraced being Lao.

Language as a bridge

I speak English and Lao in-fluently. English is my first language and Lao is spoken slang around close family and friends. I found that I understood Lao well but had difficulty articulating conversations in return. I grew to smile, nod, and speak minimal phrases to my Lao elders. However, I learned with the language barrier, I could communicate through other outlets like cooking or acts of kindness/service.

The struggle...and the beauty

My parents and elders taught me ຮັກແພງກັນ hak phaeng kan. To love one another along with the struggles and mistakes that pass through us. To accept indifferences and continue learning life lessons. Most importantly, to appreciate the little things. Because our ancestors once came with little resources, and worked hard for the next generations to survive & seek opportunities.

Today, I found beauty in my heritage- through our love language expressed in Lao music, our moral values and ເມືອງລາວ meuang Lao. I’ve outgrown my discouragement of being Lao by acknowledging uniqueness is okay 😊

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